Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Diet Struggles-- a mind game

So, obviously the past few weeks I've not been blogging. The main reason for this is that I've been completely ignoring dieting. I've chosen to actively ignore the need on many different levels to watch what I put into my mouth and instead wallow in self-pity and the "unfairness of it all". Because I'm human and I'm weary. I'm flat out weary of not having a "normal" body (I'll pause here while we all laugh at how I think everyone who is skinny doesn't struggle with food on any sort of level and that their bodies don't rebel in some way some how and that everyone who is skinny is automatically happy and has their life completely pulled together). I'm weary of telling myself no.

The truth is that is just sucks and it's hard to completely change habits. It takes willpower and effort and generally being un-lazy. I'm so not good with being un-lazy.

So for the past 3 weeks, I have half-heartedly gotten up and gone to the gym maybe 2 days a week. I go on my "easy" days- Thursday when I work out on my own and can therefore do 15 minutes on the elliptical and 10 crunches and say "well, that's better than nothing" and go home to a bagel and coffee and Friday when I go to yoga in the middle of the morning without my kids and while it's a pretty good workout, it's more about having 'me time' built in away from the "stress" of being at home. I know I'm using a copious amount of quotation marks here which are mostly technically grammatically incorrect, but I want you to know that these  phrases I'm using I don't 100% believe myself.

I also quit tracking my calories and told myself I can "keep up with it in my head" (I can't) and "eh, I'm pretty sure I'm close" (I wasn't). So I gained 3 pounds in about 2 weeks. I'm back at having lost less than 30 pounds and that REALLY BUGS ME.

Today, I was getting back on the wagon. I had a horrendous day yesterday (If you every looked at my food journal yesterday, you'll see that I never recorded dinner when I had 350 calories left in the day-- yeah. that was on purpose).  Today already kind of stinks. I made a poor choice for snack (coffee cake made by a friend. Sooo good.. but you know, not.) My goal over the next few weeks is to record everything. Even if I'm over my 1200 calories for the day. ESPECIALLY when I'm over my 1200 calories for today. I need to acknowledge these failures. I need to pray. I need to do a lot of things besides tooling around the internet thinking about which iPhone case I should get.

There's my confession. I'm here to work on myself. I will not be motivated to say no 100% of the time-- I will not lose the next 50 lbs overnight (though, at times I really do think and say to God "You know how hard I"m working-- can't you just make this happen more easily??? I know you can!" but more on that whole struggle another day).

We'll talk again tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Bleh. I went over in my calories today-- roughly 150 over. There were so many things I could have done differently for that not to have been the case, and I even thought of doing some of them a few times, but I didn't. Why? I have plenty of excuses. Wednesday is my off day from exercise-- my body needs time to rest. Tara, this doesn't mean you can't take a 30 minute walk with a stroller. You could have totally burned off that extra little snack. We had friends over for lunch (always fun!!) and both of the women who joined us are nursing mothers so THEY got (and totally should have!) to have an extra croissant with the chicken salad. I had one, too. That's 90 calories right there. One of the guests brought some Uh-mazing brownies with her. I totally ate one. That's 110 calories that were 100% WORTH IT. But I should have done something to counteract it.

Tomorrow I'm doing my incline program at the gym. I typically do 30 minutes and then just head home. I think tomorrow I'll do the 30 minute incline program and then something else (rowing? yoga? ab work? hmm...) for 15 minutes.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sounds weird, but it was so good!

I had a roasted grape, goat cheese and honey stuffed sweet potato for lunch today. I know, it sounds weird. Roasted grapes? Sweet potatoes with what cheese? Yeah. well. It was fabulous. Go here and get the recipe and make it. Well, if you like goat cheese. You definitely taste that awesome tang, and if you already you know you hate goat cheese, you will probably hate this. But still go roast some grapes. Cause they.were.awesome.  And the whole thing was about 250 calories (medium sized potato, and I'm out of honey so I used agave nectar). Just delicious. Yum.

And here's today's accountability. If you look right this instant, obviously dinner isn't up yet, but we're having Lebanese style beef patties. Just 340 calories and super flavorful. I'll share that recipe next Monday, I think! Oh, and we have LifeGroup tonight, so hopefully I can handle myself with the snacks. That's always a hard time for me. I don't want to make the hostess/snack provider feel bad and think "well my snack isn't good enough/healthy enough/whatever for that Tara Salsman. hmmph." And goodness knows I WANT to try it... and try it again... and about 12 times. But I also know that if I eat just one cookie, I'm going to end up eating 4. I'm horrible at portion control. I'm really an all-or-nothing sort of eater most of the time. But I'm working on it. I promise. Check out my food journal later tonight to see how I did!

Monday, September 17, 2012

A few words on breakfast and notes on a weekend

Happy Monday morning, folks. Apparently I'm not a weekend blogger. I'm ok with that-- I wasn't entirely sure how weekends would shape up in the blogging world since we sleep in (kind of... we do have 2 toddlers) and I don't formally exercise or typically record food intake on Saturday and Sunday. So Monday-Friday seems to be when I'm able to hop on.

So breakfast. I'm finding that a lot of dieters/lifestyle changers really struggle with breakfast. Some people's former go-tos are now perceived as off-limits. No more sugary cereal; no more PopTarts; bacon or no bacon? There just seems to be so much confusion about what will be filling and truly break the overnight fast and get you to lunch time and still stay within calorie and nutrient restrictions.

Last Monday, I posted a recipe for pumpkin pie baked oatmeal which has 190 calories per serving. I try to stay around 300 calories for breakfast (then there's 400 for lunch, 400 for dinner and 100 for a snack). However, that is just my personal preference. If you'd rather have a bigger breakfast and cut back at lunch, go for it! It's all about what is sustainable and works within your lifestyle.

I have noticed in my own diet and in the diet of many around me that we (Americans? Mid-Americans? my little group of friends & family? I'm not really sure how to define the 'we') are somedays severely lacking in vegetables. Scott and I are members of a CSA, so we do have access to a lot of fresh produce that I am struggling to learn to cook and use effectively (this is our first year); but some people I talk to say things like "I know I need to eat more kale/chard/greens/green vegetables, but I have no idea what to do with them and/or what I tried last week tasted TERRIBLE." I'll admit, greens take a little getting used to and take some creativity and really good recipes to actually ENJOY for me. I have a friend who loves greens and seems to eat them constantly (I'm sure this isn't true, though). I've been trying a lot of different things, and one that has worked REALLY well for me has been adding kale to my scrambled eggs in the morning. I know, I know you guys are thinking "WHAT?!!? I don't need greens THAT badly! KALE! for BREAKFAST?!" Yeah, I thought the same thing. But guys. I have one serving of veggies under my belt alread and it's not even 8am. And it adds extra volume to my breakfast and I almost couldn't finish my eggs this morning. So give it a shot. I think you'll like it! Here's my method:

1. slice up one (or half of one if they're big) apple & maple chicken sausage (I used meijer brand). Saute over medium-low heat in a pan sprayed with cooking spray. Let it get a little brown, but not too much.
2. While the sausage is browning, chop up a nice handful of kale. I used 2 small leaves. Remove the middle rib and chop leaves into 1" cubes. I used organic red kale, but any sort of tender green like chard, any sort of kale, or whatever you have on hand should work well. I wouldn't use more bitter greens like turnips or collards. Those need to be cooked longer.
3. Add kale to the pan with the sausage and saute until bright green and a little wilted. My kale hasn't been wilting very much lately, so just saute for 3ish minutes. Remove sausage and kale from pan.
4. Scramble one or two large eggs (so stir up in a separate bowl, add a tablespoon of milk and a pinch of salt & pepper) in the same pan. Just before set, when it still looks a little wet, add back the kale and sausage and mix together.
5. Sprinkle with some grated fresh Parmesan (just a tablespoon or so). Stir to melted and then eat! I had a whole wheat frozen waffle (Van's brand) with mine, but any bread product would be great.

Let me know how you like it!

Today's food diary can be found here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/TrappedSoutherner?date=2012-09-17

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Thursday accountability

So tonight, I'm loving Jason's Deli. I'm waiting to see if the 100 Days of Real Food does a review of their ingredients. Jason's Deli claims organic and real food and I hope it's really true because it's delicious! The girls and I went there tonight for dinner and I had the Savvy Chicken Salad Wrap (340 calories) and their steamed veggies (60 calories). I had enough calories left over that I was able to indulge in their free for dine-in ice cream cones. So good!

Tomorrow I'm going to do a post about exercise, but here's today's food log. See y'all tomorrow! 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Zoo Calories (Day 3)

Wednesdays are my gym off days. On Monday I go to the 5:45am spin class, Tuesday is the 5:45am Bootcamp, Thursday I do my own treadmill incline program (I'll post about this later) early in the morning and then Friday I do the 10:30am Power Yoga class. I've really found this mix to be a good mix for me. We can talk more later about how I discovered the best mix of exercises for me (sounds like a good Friday information post!). But since I don't go to the gym on Wednesdays, I feel more ready to do lots of walking with the girls. This means a zoo trip! We went with a group of friends today and had a great time for about 2 1/2 hours. I was conflicted about how to determine and record the calorie output for zoo trips. There was a lot of starting and stopping, but I was on my feet for about 2 hours straight (before we stopped to each lunch) and much of the time I was pushing a stroller that weighs roughly 60 pounds (stroller + 2 girls + diaper bag). After some facebook discussion, I went with 250 calories. My Fitness Pal registered pushing a stroller for 120 minutes as 445 and that felt way too high for the amount of exertion I felt. So 250 is my guesstimate. If anybody has other suggestions, please let me know!

Here's the link to my food diary. It turns out that the links I leave each night will take you to the current day's food diary. But you can scroll back to see any previous date's diary (in case you want to check out some dinner ideas maybe).
*Update* I think I figured out how to fix it. I'll go back to the past few days and try to remedy the issue. Have a great day tomorrow!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 2 Accountability

Here's the link to my public food diary on My Fitness Pal.

Have a great night!